Ignoring the voice.

I think it was the combination of 3 things that got me started running.

One was an online acquaintance - a runner - who told me she’s “always hated running”. That’s me. I figured if someone who always hated it had grown to love it, there was hope for me.

The second thing was Starling Fitness. Laura, the author, started running awhile back and I was living vicariously as her mileage climbed higher and higher. Her enthusiasm for the sport made me itching to run long before I started.

The third thing was the book, Running with Angels. I found it especially inspiring because it was written by a local woman who lost a lot of weight after joining Weight Watchers and taking up running. I read the book shortly after I started running, and at just the time I joined Weight Watchers. It was exciting to realize I wasn’t the only person who had weird thoughts and emotional ties to food. The author’s success was inspiring.

At our race this weekend I saw the author of the book. And she’s gained weight. She doesn’t appear to have gained it all back, but she did appear to have put on quite a bit of weight. Admittedly, I don’t know her circumstances. Maybe she just had a baby. Maybe she’s having thyroid trouble. There could be any number of reasons why she looked heavier than in her photos & I’m sure I will never know the real reason. But seeing one of the people who I found most inspiring slip from the pedestal unsettled me more than I would have guessed. And there’s that little voice in the back of my mind that says 6 months of running is nothing when weighed against 36 years of being unathletic. That little voice doesn’t believe I will truly succeed.