Today was less than inspiring.

I am getting better at running, in that I run at least 50% of my workout now. I have to keep reminding myself that when I started back in November I couldn’t run more than a couple feet, and even that just about did me in. So I am indeed making progress, but today I was feeling very disheartened.

I run at the high school track, which probably isn’t the best environment for feeling good about myself. There I am, surrounded by people half my age and weight, and they run like gazelles, combining speed and amazing grace. I plod along, stopping to catch my breath after running for less than 5 minutes, and wondering if I’ll ever look like that. I don’t mean lean with a rock hard body, although that would certainly be nice. ;) I mean I envy the way they look almost as if they are dancing, the way their feet barely seem to touch the ground.

Because losing weight would be fantastic, it would be more than awesome. Getting fit would be even greater. But the ultimate goal is to run 26.2 miles and some days I wonder if I’ll ever get there.

Missing my iPod.

I can't find my nano. It's ridiculous; I only use the thing when I run and then I promptly bring it in the house and upload my data to the Nike+ website. I had it when I ran last Thursday, and I haven't been able to find it since.

It's a little frightening how much I miss it. Running isn't the same without it. Sure, I can borrow my daughter's iPod and get the music, but I have no idea how far I'm running. I have no idea how fast I'm going. And I am going to lose the Nike+ challenge.

That visual feedback, that little thrill I get when I plug my nano into my laptop and see my run in vibrant neon green on the screen, that is missing. And sure, maybe I was only coming in 26th in the challenge, but it still made me feel good that I was ahead of so many other people. That gadgetry is what helps me stay motivated.



So until I can afford a new nano, I'm in mourning and running just isn't the same.

There are good runs, and there are not so good runs. Today was the latter. I haven't been able to determine why some days I can run with no pain and then days like today my body hurts almost from the get go. I've started keeping a tube of Icy Hot in the car so that I have it handy at all times. Both today and yesterday I felt like I was hobbling along rather than running. The pain rarely lasts more than a day, so I know its nothing serious but I wish I could figure out what is causing it. Its got to be my form, but I feel like that's improving as my core muscles get stronger.

I did it! I made my first goal.

Let me backtrack. Last weekend the track that I usually run at was closed and I had to run outdoors. It's pretty chilly here so I've been running inside. That day the weather was nice but I wasn't having a great running day. A lot of the track was covered with snow, & I was cold, so maybe that was part of it. But I just couldn't find my groove. I walked a lot more than I ran, and for the first time I started to think maybe I will never achieve my running goals. It seemed like I'd been working so long and not seeing very much progress.

Then a few days later I went back to the regular indoor track and did one full lap without stopping, right off the bat. I know that to a runner, that's no big deal, but for me it was HUGE progress. I was on Cloud 9 for days.

I'm still so so far away from being able to run a 5k & I worry that I won't be there by May for the race I'd like to run but seeing that little success brought back my hope and determination.